This has been requested by so many. even though it never features in the original books, it seems all of you want to know how this went down. So here we are….the start of Sophie and Arry.
Universal book links
Book 1 – myBook.to/TheCarreroEffect
Book 2 – myBook.to/CarreroInfluence
Book 3 – myBook.to/CarreroSolution
Book 4 – myBook.to/CarreroHeart1
Book 5 – myBook.to/CarreroHeart2
Jake’s POV – myBook.to/JakesPOV
Just Rose – getBook.at/JustRose
I drop the wooden spoon in the bowl as batter splashes back in my face and recoil in disgust, wiping it out of my eye and huff stroppily that I just cannot get the knack of this. Sylvana laughs and tends to my face with a dish towel she has over her shoulder, dabbing at me lightly to clean it off.
‘Oh Sophie, Bambino…. Don’t be so aggressive with stirring. Be gentle with the batter, or you will pound the air out of the mixture.’ She smiles softly and picks the spoon back up to hand to me, pushing the bowl back against me on the wooden surface. I frown at the heavy ceramic beast and make another attempt at this. A lot less grace than the first attempt and I get it up my Unicorn t-shirt alarmingly. I sigh and glare at the mess I have just splattered over twinkles… I love this top. I am totally gutted.
‘I really don’t think baking is my thing.’ I point out defeatedly, this is another cooking lesson with ‘Mamma Carrero’ that I am failing at. We have one every few days, she calls it ‘bonding time’ to quiz me on how I am settling in with the foster parents she has placed me, and without fail I just make something awful. She has so much patience and no ends to supplies that I make inedible.
I like that she’s keeping tabs on me, she reminds me of Jake so much, she has his eyes and his easy manner and I feel like I can relax with her. The way I relax with Jake and Emma , to keep me safe, to look after me. She found me a home with people who live close by and so far so good. They seem to like me, they even let me put a lock on my door so I feel safe around them. I guess in time I can maybe relax around them and stop questioning if this is all real all the time. I have siblings, for the first time in my life and even though they all seem nice, I’m just not ready to bond with any of them yet. I mean this could be temporary, it’s just a foster home after all. I don’t want to get my hopes up just yet.
I like Sylvana, she doesn’t make me feel like I’m anything different. She doesn’t bring up the stuff I don’t want to talk about, even though I know it’s part of her job. I mean, the support worker I see weekly is from her own charity… he told me she is the reason I got homed so fast. It’s almost unheard of for a fourteen year old runaway to find a family like the Huntsberger’s so easily. I guess I owe all this to her, and Jake and Emma. I owe them everything. I know it probably won’t last so I aim to enjoy it while I can, build up my strength, incase I need to leave or go back to the streets again and fend for myself.
I look at Sylvana and feel so much love for her.
I just wish I knew how to express it all a little better. It’s easy with Emma…she gets me, she doesn’t expect me to say anything. She just knows.
‘Mamma..Where are you? I’m home.’ A male voice that sounds so much like Jake, echoes down the hall and I falter, my mixing poised as I freeze. I am not good with strangers, yet this one sounds like Jake so I’m not sure if it’s him or not. There’s something different in the voice though, only slightly and my heart beats faster as Sylvana walks to the kitchen door, patting the flour from her dress as she greets the voice. I drop my eyes to the bowl and continue with the mess I’m making, gripping the spoon tight and hoping whoever it is doesn’t stay long. Heart rate elevating and breathing getting a little shallower. I am still not good at coping with my anxiety, but I’m learning. I breathe slowly to combat the suffocating feeling in my chest and focus on slow stirs to concentrate.
‘Ahhh, il mio bambino.’ Sylvana walks forward into a tall frame who embraces her, I can see sandy hair and wide shoulders over her own frame, strong arms encircle her as they hug. It’s definitely not Jake.
‘Hey mamma, mi sei mancato’ The male voice sounds low and husky, that same Jake depth of tone and I wonder if this is the elusive brother. Sylvana talks about Arrick a lot, but he’s always away at college, or travelling, this is the first time he’s been here while I have, it would make sense, seeing as he’s clearly bilingual. I pause and hold my breath. Waiting. I know she will introduce him and I feel the panic rise in my throat. Hands going cold and body icing with apprehension.
They both move as she turns to me and I duck my eyes back to what I’m doing, overcome with shyness and unable to look up. Trying to hold myself in check so I don’t make an idiot of myself. I have the urge to check my hair is still tied up neat in my ponytail.
‘Arry this is Sophabelle, our newest Huntsberger addition.’ Sylvana’s voice pulls me up, almost like magic, the woman is clever with her spells of persuasion. And I find myself connecting to a pair of hazel brown eyes, studying me coolly. I’m surprised they are not green, like Jake’s and Sylvana’s, yet somehow these are nicer, warmer, and deeper. I shake myself at the trance he almost causes me, forgetting myself for a second. I feel heat hit my cheeks as I blush and look away, his gaze is a little too intense for my liking and instantly feel defensive.
‘Hey, how you doing?’ He speaks to me and I curse that I have to do this. I am used to the little circle of people who have surrounded me for the past weeks, I don’t need anyone new to be around me right now. Strangers mean danger.
I look up and take him in slowly, warily. The broad strong shape of a teen, maybe late teens. He isn’t ugly, he’s kind of cute, except he has Giovanni’s nose, which is a shame because it’s a bit odd at the bridge. I like his hair…it’s spiky and kind of nice in colour and a really nice cut, he seems to spend time styling it too, which I guess I like. He has a nice taste in clothes anyway, jeans, sneakers and a tight grey t-shirt with some vague fighting club or something on the front which highlights the fact he works out. He looks a little bit like his brother, yet not, and I decide I don’t like him. He is a bit too good looking to be a nice guy.
‘Hi.’ I say flatly, and look back down at what I’m doing. Not interested.
Too cocky, too chatty, too smiley. He will just be like every other guy on the planet.
‘You’re a chatty one aren’t you?’ he laughs, it makes me squirm, because it’s kind of nice in a completely awful way and I glare at him for insulting me. I think he might actually be an ass hole, now that I think of it. I mean who uses lines like ‘how you doing?’ anyway. Pretty sure it’s a lame veiled attempt at saying ‘want a date?’ Which I don’t.
He is way too old for me, I mean, I’m not even fifteen yet and he looks…. well not fifteen. Maybe eighteen, I don’t know. He has a young look, but then again, there’s something older in his eyes.
‘Shhh, leave her be. Sophie is just fine once she warms to you, stop teasing her.’ Sylvana scolds and moves off towards the sink to fill the coffee pot. Everyone in these families seem to reach for coffee pots at every opportunity, and it’s plain weird. I hate the smell of the stuff, it makes me think of things I really don’t want too and I bite down the sudden nausea that hits me in the gut.
I jump in fright when he appears at the table in front of me, reaching in to dip his hand in what I’m mixing and I drop the bowl and spoon and jump back as though he’s scolded me; even though he didn’t touch me. He doesn’t react, hand still in the bowl, eyes come to me and his face straightens a little. A slight frown as he slowly draws away and smiles softly, movements extremely controlled like he senses he shouldn’t have done that. It does nothing to clam me though and I’m tense all over.
My heart racing, embarrassment flows over me and I look away, moving back to grab the spoon and die of shame that I reacted so noticeably. I can’t help it. I hate people coming too close, especially men and that’s what he is, even though he’s young. He’s a threat. He’s male and he’s obviously a guy who can pull girls easily. Just not me, never me. I inhale deeply and swallow down hard.
‘Tastes good…you must have the magic touch.’ He says it softly, but I notice he’s moved back to give me breathing space and I relax a tiny smidgen. I don’t answer, but just stare at the bowl and mix some more.
‘She has, if she only had a softer touch and more patience.’ Sylvana laughs and comes to remove the bowl from me swiftly, she hands me another instead, that is filled with a new mixture and a fresh spoon.
‘You can massacre this one if you like.’ She giggles beautifully, warming my ice a little. I glance his way as she moves and catch him looking at me, sort of up and down, as though he’s trying to suss me out and I automatically glare at him; if he’s looking for an easy target then he will meet his match. I’m not some defenceless little kid who would let some teen romeo have a go. I will burn his pretty face off, or stab him with this wooden spoon if I have too. I have no interest in boys or men, or those that are inbetween, like him.
He smiles at me and I just glare harder, warning him off. No point leading these types on and giving him the wrong idea. I already met his type at school, the first week here and they soon learned that Sophie bites.
He picks up an apple from the fruit bowl and leans against the kitchen counter, getting comfy as his mother makes fresh coffee and dollops my batter into cake pans. His eyes leave me and wander around the room as he takes a bite and crunches noisily. Who even eats that loud? Weirdo..
‘You redecorated?’ He says to her and I watch that profile for a second. Okay, he’s not ugly…he’s actually kind of cute, for a guy. But he’s a jack ass so what does it matter?
I go back to mixing aggressively and let out a little of my prickliness on the new mixture, sloshing some over the bowl clumsily. I curse under my breath. His presence is making me antsy and I want him to just leave, so we can go back to our, Sylvana and Sophie time. I am starting to depend on these visits as part of my routine and he is ruining my calm.
‘Nope… Just changed a few accessories.’ Sylvana smiles back at him, then notices my mess, and hands him a wet cloth. Without hesitation, he puts down his apple and leans forward to start cleaning around the bowl I have on the table. As his arm gets near mine, I step back again, lifting the bowl to make it look like I am giving him space to clean. I catch the flicker of his eyes on me and he says nothing. Just wipes the surface and hands it back to her. I put the bowl back down and only move back when he moves away.
The phone starts ringing and Sylvana takes it from the wall, utters something in Italian then gestures two minutes to me and leaves the room.Taking the phone with her as she chats in fluent Italian and leaves us to it.
Leaves me with him!…. My breathing gets instantly heavier as anxiety starts to build up quickly. She never just leaves me with strangers, this is literally unheard of, ever. Normally Sylvana is very conscious of leaving me with people I don’t know, she knows I don’t like it and I don’t care if it’s her son. I drop the spoon and start looking around for an escape route almost impulsively, uncomfortable about being alone with him.
‘Huntsberger’s huh? So you’re Leeloo’s new sister?’ His voice catches me mid panic and draws me back to him, I just stare at him, wondering why he is even trying to talk to me. Did I not make it blatantly clear that I’m not interested, god, he’s as relentless as the boys at school, thick as one of them too. The reason I almost got expelled on the first day – for punching one square in the nose, for not leaving me alone.
I shrug, as way of an answer and decide I maybe just want to go home now. Last thing I need is Sylvana getting mad because I punched her son in the face. I am only just starting to feel at home here and I don’t want to cause problems with the woman I depend on.
I make a move around the table to get past him, then jump when he shifts to pick up his apple that he laid down, not seeing me until the last moment. I knock the table with my hip by accident and send it rolling off.
We both make a grab for it and he gets way too close, almost on top of me as we make a play for the shiny red roly poly object on the floor and I recoil at the speed of light; only backing into the table stupidly, instead of away. He’s in my face as he straightens up and I flinch, lifting my hands defensively in that split second, head caught in fear and flashback and almost choking on his aftershave as the full force of how he smells hits me hard. He stops, catches sight of my posture and lifts his hands away, moving back, eyes on mine steadily as I heave in breaths and try to stop myself from suffocating.
‘I’m sorry, didn’t mean to get so close. I’m not going to touch you.’ He looks a little taken aback by the way I’m poised, apologetic and maybe sincere. I try to uncoil my muscles to look more natural, tears bite my eyes at just how stupid I must look and try to slide away from him. Mortified that I’m acting this way with Jake’s brother, but this is how I am with every guy. Jake just never gets close enough to see if it’s the same with him. I am trying so hard to regulate my breaths and just be normal.
‘I need to go home.’ It comes out so pitifully, voice shaking and suddenly the thought of my safe lockable space is screaming for me across the road.
‘I’ll go…You stay, you obviously were in the middle of something with my mom.’ I stop in surprise, looking at him dumbfoundedly as he slowly backs away from me, making a show of keeping his hands up like I have a gun or something equally stupid. It just makes me forget myself for a moment and good old mouth comes out all by herself.
‘Put your hands down…that’s lame.’ verbal diarrhoea at some strange guy, acting weird. he looks at his hands then breaks into a smile and drops them by his sides.
‘I guess it is. You just looked like for a second you might want to take a low blow at my family jewels.’ He keeps moving away and still looks at me steadily, that half smile brings out some surprising dimples that soften his whole face and I relax a tiny little bit. He has his moms dimples, they sort of give him a softer , more caring look and I guess it might not hurt that on him they look sort of maybe a little bit handsome.
‘I really will go. Just need to grab a can of coke from the refrigerator behind you…you know, or you could, so I stay over here.’ He raises his brows at me and it knocks me off guard, that he realises I don’t want him near me, how incredibly cute he actually is when he does that too, it’s like he can change his whole face with just a mannerism. It’s kind of freaky, some kind of sorcery, obviously invented to weaken girls.. I hesitate and look behind me at the huge steel refrigerator and then back at him, realising I would rather do it than have him come over again.
‘You don’t need to go, it’s your mom’s house. I can just come back another time.’ I move back and get him the soda anyway. I pull out a cold one, after feeling for the coldest and then walk a little closer and slide it across the table, so he won’t have to take it from me, I don’t want him to touch me.
‘I’m home for a week, It’s cool. I can get out of your way and leave you to bore yourself to tears with my mom. Just leave me some cake as a thanks before you go.’ He waits until I am back in my safe space before he moves to pick up the can and I mellow towards him a little. He really does seem to be trying to show me he isn’t a threat and I wonder how much he knows about me. He didn’t act like he knew anything at all, and I don’t know if Sylvana would have told him. I get the feeling he maybe just senses something, and I have to admit, it makes me a little unsure.
‘You don’t want to eat the cakes I make…… I kill everything I touch. I am not a good cook.’ I blink at him hopelessly, unsure why I am even encouraging conversation at all. I should just let him leave. I want him to leave.
‘I have a stomach made of steel, if I can handle my room mates attempts, then pretty sure yours won’t kill me. Besides, I kinda want to see how bad it can be. I’m intrigued now that you said you kill everything you touch.’ He smiles at me and this time I bristle a little defensively, it’s a hot smile and I wonder if it’s his practised pick me up grin, he uses on girls he’s being cute with. I narrow my eyes and stare at him for a second, eyeing him up with scrutiny.
‘You really don’t trust me, do you?’ He smiles again,the half smile, the one I like but I just frown harder, trying to pick him apart.
‘I don’t know you… I don’t trust anyone I don’t know.’ I keep studying him, aware that I am relaxing a little in his presence, I think the fact he’s keeping his distance and maintains a cool calmness when he talks, it’s helping. There’s something sort of steady about him. Like he’s so level, no surprises or sudden movements and he seems to have a sort of cool tone when he talks. I can’t explain it, he just seems to be able to bring a stillness to the room that confuses me. I think it’s maybe that he seems smarter than the average guy, able to read people maybe, and reacts to give them what they need, to relax. Or maybe it’s something I should be wary of. Maybe he’s devious and clever and really is just angling for something he will never get from me.
‘Clever girl…It’s not a bad way to be. Earning trust happens to be something I’m good at.’ He drops the smile and instead regards me intensely, our eyes meeting and this time I don’t look away. We just look at one another for a second; me trying so hard to figure him out, gauge what his intentions are and I have no clue what he is looking for in me.
‘Doubt I’ll be around long enough for that to ever happen.’ I answer flatly. Warning him off, annoyed that he thinks he can ever just earn my trust. Very few have it. Emma…she’s probably the only one who has all of it. No one else has full disclosure yet, not sure they ever will.
‘I should make the most of a new face in the street then…You could always come hang out with my friends and me, go for pizza or whatever.’ His question knocks me for six and I blanche at him, confused that someone like him would ask a kid to go with his friends to eat.
‘Yeah..I don’t think so , you’re too old. I don’t like boys.’ I answer snottily, furrowing my brows and make a clear show of indifferent disinterest. Looking back down at the table and going back to stirring my bowl, forgetting all mention of leaving.
‘I’m not that old..You have to be what? sixteen..I mean you look around that age, maybe seventeen. I’m not asking for date, I just mean to hang with people you might make friends with, you know, with being new here.’ He is back to watching me and I feel the eyes burning into my face.
‘I’m fourteen, and I don’t need more friends. I met some kids at school that are okay. I prefer to just do things by myself.’ I stare at what I’m doing and sigh heavily, irritated and I don’t even know why. I realise that my panic attack is gone, it’s fizzled out and so has the fear I had been feeling. I glance up at him again and realise I know longer feel like I should bolt out of his presence. I guess maybe he’s more like Jake than I realised, and maybe that’s it. I wonder where Sylvana is and realise I can’t even hear her out in the hall anymore.
‘Wow, really? Shit. You definitely look older. Look I’m not angling for anything…I’m not like that. Even if you were sixteen, or whatever, I really did mean just pizza, just hanging out.’ He moves forward towards the table and I freeze…Nope, not relaxed with him, just relaxed at the space he was giving me. I catch him from the corner of my eye, slowly very slowly moving back to his previous position and something inside of me thaws again. I have to kerb the urge to smile and not look up at him. He saw me react and he counteracted. He’s not so dumb after all. Maybe he isn’t a threat and really is just a nice guy.
‘I don’t like strangers, or crowds, or pizza.’ I answer abruptly… one little white lie won’t kill me. I mean I really love pizza but, all the rest is true.
‘I get the feeling that whatever I suggest will get a rebuff, and now I’m starting to sound like a desperate weirdo trying to make a date. Look, offers always there if you get bored. When I’m home….which is every month….then whatever. We’re neighbours, and your now one of my closest friends sisters. Leila and I go way back. I’m just being friendly.’ He leans back against the counter behind him and tries for another half smile, but I just narrow my gaze once more. Not sure how to take him at all, he’s very smooth. He definitely has that Jake Carrero confidence and charm, and I’m just not sure it’s as genuine. I don’t know him at all.
‘I don’t need friendly.’ I point out.
‘Everyone could use friends, even just one.’ He watches me with that infuriating smile that is starting to lose it’s sparkle and I’m starting to think it’s his come on smile, to win me round.
‘I don’t need any, not even one.’ I raise my brows at him and drop the wooden spoon into the batter once more.
‘I’m not just any one.’ He grins this time and despite myself I smirk a little too.
‘You’re lame. I think you maybe just need to go find a girl who may actually be interested. This one isn’t.’ I pick up the spoon and lick it, grimacing at how disgusting cake batter is raw and wonder why the hell he even liked it. I am overly aware of the fact I have fully relaxed though, some weird sorcery he must have learned from his mother.
‘I’m not someone who gives up. I will ask you every time I see you…You will cave one of those times.’ He shifts against the unit and I watch him warily, settling when he only gets comfy and stays put.
‘Find me the elusive last unicorn and I’ll think about it.’ I sigh, smirking to myself as my favourite movie comes to mind, knowing he will have no clue to what I am even on about. I don’t even know why I am tolerating this conversation. I have zero interest in ever talking to him again, or ever going anywhere with him, or his friends.
‘Is that a challenge?’ He smiles and I just shrug, uninterested and really just wishing Sylvana would hurry up. It’s almost like I psychically summon her and she wanders in, smiling brightly at both of us.
‘Sorry about that mia Bambino’s… family like to talk. I hope you were getting acquainted with Arry, my golden child. Such a good boy for his mamma.’ She walks past him tweaking his cheek and air kissing at him, he eye rolls and smiles and just stays put. I find myself giggling at it, it just looks so wrong on someone his size and build. He smiles wider when he sees me giggling.
‘Sophie was turning me down flat. Seems this one isn’t interested in pizza dates.’ I catch his eye on me and just frown at him. So much for denying it was date.
‘I should think not.’ She slaps Arry on the arm and he looks at her with complete mock shock.
‘What the hell was that for?’ He rubs his arm and glares at Sylvana, I can’t help but grinning smugly.
‘Because I know you, she is not on your radar…ever. Leave her alone and ..Sophie dear…’ She turns to me with a warm smile that draws my attention to her fully, I nod in question.
‘You have my permission to slap him in the man parts, if he ever tries to proposition you again.’
‘That’s not what I was doing…Jeeze, give a guy a break. I was trying to be nice. It was in no way a loaded invite.’ Arry shrugs, but then starts moving fast as his mother ushers him out by flapping a dishtowel in his direction, slapping at him and shepherding him out into the hall. I start giggling, catching the smile on his face and the parting look he gives me that catches my eye.
Okay, so he’s cuter than I thought, maybe I would go as far as saying a little bit gorgeous. Still not interested, still staying the hell away from him. I don’t care if he does have a way of calming me down, it means nothing. He just needs to get within four feet and it’s all undone anyway.
‘Out, out…it’s girl time and you are not invited.’ Sylvana is pushing him.
‘I’m going, besides…I have a challenge to work out.’ He throws a wink back at me as he disappears out the door and I just stare out after him, torn between amusement and worry. I didn’t issue a challenge , I was just trying to put him off and I’m not sure I like this at all. I frown after him, head a chaos of thoughts and feelings and I try to push down the rising anxiety once more. This is why I don’t want friends…they don’t know when to just leave me be.
Sylvana reappears moments after I hear the front door shut and smiles warmly at me, beaming and happy.
‘I love my son dearly, he is a good boy really. Just a little bit of a slut, like his brother….don’t pay any attention to him.’ She winks at me fondly and goes back to dealing with the cake tins on the counter. I watch her for a moment and think about Jake….seeing him with Emma these past weeks, I think Jake’s a reformed slut and possibly looking a lot like a guy who wants more from his PA. I push it down with a smile and picture Emma getting her happy ever after, warming a little with the thought.
* * *
I spent the whole day with Sylvana, it’s late and dark when I finally walk across to my own home and yawn as I get into the hallway, letting myself in. I can tell by the silence down here that my parents have already headed to bed, and as all my siblings all moved out before I ever moved in, then the house is pretty silent. I drop my coat on the rack and go to head upstairs quietly. Glad to have the solitary time .
‘Miss Sophie.’ The housekeeper Ivana calls to me from the bottom of the stair and I turn with a smile , it still weird’s me out that we have servants, maids or whatever they call them. I mean I am still getting used to this whole grand house and the money factor. It’s a far cry from where I started in life and sometimes I have to pinch myself that this isn’t a dream.
‘Yes Ivana?’ I pause as she comes up to meet me and hands me a gift bag, silver sparkling bag with satin ribbon handles. I look at it with question, completely confused.
‘Mr Carrero dropped this by and said to tell you, ‘the challenge was too easy, you’ll need to try harder next time.”She smiles warmly at me as I blink at the bag again, a lead weight dropping in my stomach and I stare at it. Unsure what to say.
‘Um…Thanks.’ I smile goofily, heart rate elevating and I turn and scale the stairs fast as I can, like my ass is on fire. Almost tipping the bag out onto the bed as soon as I get into my room. Two packages, both wrapped in sparkly paper drop out and I just look at them in complete confusion. Not sure what some strange guy dropping off gifts is meant to mean. I curse myself for encouraging this, it was never my intention. I don’t want anything from him.
I really do consider just putting them back and taking them back across to Sylvana and handing them over, but my curiosity is killing me. I want to see what he has given me and I really am torn.
After a second, the child in me wins out and I rip into the larger flatter of the two open hurriedly. It’s a DVD of my favourite movie ‘The last Unicorn’. Exactly what I was getting at and there’s a post it note stuck on the front.
‘The elusive unicorn is in the sea.’
I giggle at the fact he probably had to watch this to even know that and look to see if the seal on the case has been broken. It has, I guess he watched it or skimmed it anyway to even know the answer to my question. It hits me as completely hilarious to even imagine someone like him sitting looking through a unicorn movie to answer a girl he only just met. I shouldn’t be impressed but I am, I mean the fact he even sourced this in only hours. Its a movie from the eighties.
I pick up the second one, its small and rounder, a little squishier and I rip it open faster than the first.
A fluffy plump unicorn sits in the palm of my hand, cute and cuddly, yet small enough to be portable. I can carry this around in my bag…if I felt the inclination I mean, or wanted to even keep this stuff. Which I don’t. Which I shouldn’t, because it’s not right. I don’t want to give him the wrong idea and I don’t really think its appropriate he gave me these things.
I sigh as I move the bag to put them back inside and realise there’s an envelope too. A small one, like a note card size. I open it impulsively and giggle when I see the doodle of the unicorn on one side, badly drawn and so obviously by him. It’s so awful its actually kind of cute and I shake my head, sighing with the effort he obviously made. I turn it over and see the neat handwritten scrawl on the other side and tense.
If not pizza, then maybe a milkshake, anytime you might be bored. No strings attached, no crowds, and no promises to be friends. We can sit at complete opposite tables. Enjoy your unicorns. Sophabelle. x A
I swallow hard when I read and reread it. Unsure, nervous and torn. I mean I know he says no strings, but it puts the fear of god into me that he has even gone this far to impress me. All my alarm bells ringing and I realise I need to put an end to whatever this is. I’m no innocent and naive kid who has no clue what goes on in men’s heads, I’m painfully aware of what men expect for a little effort. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and my skin erupts in goosebumps as fear grips my heart.
I’ll take it all back to his mother in the morning and have her tell him to just leave me be. I don’t need someone like him in my life, trying to sweep me off my feet and lower my guard. He never will , so there’s no point in him trying.We will never be anything more than neighbours.