Lovers of my book The Carrero Effect book 1 will love this brand new alternate chapter.
This is chapter 13, part 7 (more to follow) re-written from Jake Carrero’s perspective as per requested by you, the lovely fans.
Please note there is swearing and sexual references and this is not suitable for those under 18 years of age.
Read at your own risk!!
The holiday- Part 7 ( Chapter 13, book 1)
‘I like both versions of you in different ways, equally.’ He sighed, trying to keep his libido under control as his blood started warming up at her obvious come-ons, keeping close.
‘What do you mean ‘different ways’?’ She blinked up at him innocently, he sighed, running a hand across her face lightly and moving her hair to tuck behind her ear, he chewed his lip as he tried to think of the most diplomatic way of answering her. Truth be told he was in love with every version of her but Drunk Emma let him in more than the others, he got a chance of more with her.
‘PA Emma is cool and capable and she’s the best assistant I’ve ever had, She’s funny and sharp and she’s good at what she does. I like PA Emma.’ He nodded to himself rattling off his mental tick list. Finished with her shoes, he kneeled up, so even though he was still on the floor his head was towering over Emma.
‘You like her in an employee, employer way?’ She reached up and toyed with his spiky hair childishly, instantly making him smile and raised eyebrows at this innocent un-Emma manoeuvre. Alcohol was definitely bringing out a whole new side to her and a flicker of guilt hit him in the stomach all of a sudden.
Kissing her like this would over step the mark, she trusted him to take care of her when she was drunk and all of this was just drunk Emma letting go a little. The flirting, the come ons… She wouldn’t be like that sober and he was suddenly realising how much of an abuse of her trust it would be to actually kiss her like this.
‘Yes and no… I just like her, because she’s her.’ His eyes came to rest on hers an overwhelming feeling of disappointment hitting him in the gut.
He couldn’t hurt the relationship they had this way.
‘And drunk Emma?’
‘I’m a little infatuated with drunk Emma if I’m being honest.’ He pulled her hand down and straightened up to leave, resigned to doing the decent think and what the fuck away. Taking every ounce of his inner strength to do this.
‘You are? Why?’ She sounded sulky, maybe sensing a change in him but he had to do this for her. She meant more than a one night stand or awkward drunken kiss.
‘Because she’s fun… She doesn’t guard what she says…. Or does..’ He nodded towards her fingers reinforcing what he was saying, sober Emma would never have played with his hair. ‘She giggles and lets her hair down.’ And trusted him to not take advantage.
‘So do most of your leggy boobs.’ She sulked at him again, big doe eyes that sucker punched him more and a little petted mouth that was killing him right now. He couldn’t believe he was contemplating walking back to his room and stopping this.
‘They’re not the same. Not even close Bella. They don’t have the other side to her… That’s what I mean by ‘I like you both’. One can’t exist without the other. I wouldn’t like there to be only one and not the other.’ He shrugged being almost completely open about his feelings for her.
‘So you like my split personality?… A lover of the cray cray.’ She grinned playfully motioning in circles at her temples and crossing her eyes. He smiled, that overwhelming affection for her cuteness hitting him hard and making his mind up for him. He wouldn’t abuse her trust when she was drunk. He loved her and that meant no breaking boundaries when she was vulnerable.
Fuck you Carrero, wimp!
He moved another hair from her face taking a last longing look with the intention of saying goodnight. Every part of his body was yelling at him but he didn’t care, he wanted her to be able to face him in the morning and deep down he knew this was not the way it should be between them.
‘It’s not split though, there’s glimpses of both versions all the time, just one chooses to dominate…. I see drunk Emma sometimes in PA Emma. when she occasionally relaxes too.’ He had lost all his merriness, sobering up hard and lingering when he should have been walking out.
‘Maybe she doesn’t know how to relax all the time!’ She confessed with a conspirational wink. Emma couldn’t look anything but adorable to him.
‘I think she’s scared.’ He answered thoughtfully, not sure if it was her he was talking about anymore or him.
Was he too scared to try and move things on? Was her being drunk an excuse?
‘Why?’ She watched him carefully, that sweet inquisitive expression on that flawless face. He stood up, his hands moving to cross across his chest and moved away from her. Putting distance between them.
‘Because letting her guard down means she lets go a little bit of control and she likes to hold it all together. Letting go makes her vulnerable, leaves her exposed and that’s worse than death for her.’ His voice was steady and low betraying none of his emotion, it’s what he knew about her but she didn’t know it was about him too. Moving in on Emma was letting his guard down fully, removing the final barrier which had kept him safe from complete devastation. Wimping out was about protecting him as much as her. Protecting his heart from being broken again.
‘If I’m vulnerable people can hurt me…. Men can hurt me.’ She whispered into the darkness of the room sounding suddenly fearful, bringing him out of his own head and that fierce protective instinct for her coming out to play. Watching her he bent so his forehead met hers and pressed their noses together, an awkward position for him but as natural as breathing, he wanted to comfort her and make her feel safe. He would always keep her safe. It took precedent over everything.
‘I’d never let anyone hurt you Emma.’ He breathed against her. His hands coming down to hold his weight on the mattress at either side of her thighs so he could stay leaning over her. Bringing them close enough to breathe the same air and smell her gentle tropical skin.
‘What if you couldn’t stop them?’ She suddenly sounded so young and vulnerable and he wanted to squeeze her badly. He would die to protect her, always.
‘I’d always stop them.’ He promised with conviction in his voice because he truly meant it. Emma sunk forward towards him impulsively, looking like a lost child, reaching up so she could wrap her arms around his neck and brought their foreheads to touch. He wanted to close his eyes at the way she initiated this cuddle and imprint it to memory, she didn’t often initiate touch at all.
‘You won’t always be around.’ She said quietly .
‘I’m always around if you haven’t noticed.’. He said softly, bringing attention to the fact that since he had met her he had engineered almost a constant presence on purpose. Even before he knew what she was becoming to him he had wanted her around him all the time.
He felt her lift her head and tug him a little closer so their eyes could lock. The most intimate thing Emma had ever done and he had to steel himself back in to stop the impulse to kiss her again. She looked so trusting which only calmed his fire.
‘I guess.’ She whispered at him.
‘Let go Emma….Trust me to look after you…If not long term then for these two weeks at least. Trust me to protect you.’ He was almost begging her. He wouldn’t do this drunk but if she was this way tomorrow then maybe he would. Sober he would kiss her if she let him.
‘I’ll try.’ She whispered, not loosening her hold on him at all.
‘Good girl.’ His arms came around her, pulling her up to him slightly for a gentle embrace to say goodnight and leave before he did anything stupid, lifting her from the bed for a full body embrace.
‘Don’t say that to me.’ She pause mid hold, causing him to halt. Her voice childish.
‘Why?’ He was suddenly confused at what he had said….
Good girl? What was wrong with that?
Just don’t…’ She said a little more firmly, he smiled in acknowledgement and slowly pulled her the rest of the way to cuddle her. Emma snuggled into him a little too readily making his body react in the worst kind of way for this given situation, he had to release his hold or impale her. The sudden release of her body made her stumble awkwardly and Jake cursed himself internally, reaching to catch her and loosing his own footing as his toes hit the bed leg painfully.
Fuck. Graceful this was not.
He leaned forward too far to try and keep hold of her and somehow completely lost his balance, too drunk for these kind of manoeuvres and even though she weighed practically nothing he went down on top of her, nose to nose and laughing like fools at the awkwardness of their ungraceful collapse. His face was so close to hers and his body fully connected in such an intimate pose that for just a second he couldn’t react, his mind a whirring mass of Kiss her… Don’t kiss her. He just stared instead like a dumb asshole and couldn’t foresee Emma lunging at him full force in a flash.
Her mouth connected with his so suddenly that she almost winded him and took a millisecond to realise that she was kissing him, that Emma was kissing him!
His heart somersaulted to his abdomen and sent all manner of craziness inside of him. His mouth and hers entwined in seconds, moving into the one thing he had wanted for so long and being hit with an overwhelming onslaught of emotions and sensations all at once. Euphoric tingles and extreme hunger, losing himself in her taste.
God damn, she tasted like peaches and cream and her soft lips and softer tongue were made for devouring.
She kissed like an angel, a little unsurely at first , obviously inexperienced which only made him want her more. He knew he should stop it but he couldn’t, the second her lips had met his he was lost to her and no amount of will power would drag them apart right now. He was adjusting his body to lean all over her without crushing her and losing himself into the kiss in ways he had never experienced.
This was love, he couldn’t deny it anymore. The way she felt, what kissing her made him feel. He was lost with no hope of a come back after this.
His hands moved to her hair and around her throat impulsively, wanting to hold her to him and claim her, softly holding her still so he could lead the kiss, show her how to mould to him as she found her way. Her movements becoming more confident and meeting him flawlessly, he loved the fact that it was obvious she hadn’t done a whole lot of kissing this way, adjusting herself impulsively to him. She was his perfect pure angel.
God, she was made to kiss him.
He could feel her heart rate increasing under him, her body moving to accommodate him more comfortable and her breathing getting shallower as she got more turned on. Jake knew without a doubt this was heading for sex and he knew he might not have the will power to stop it, lust consuming him and love driving him.
He caught her hands in his and pressed them against the mattress beside her head, pulling away to catch his breath momentarily, trying to slow things down and gain control. Try to rationalise this but he couldn’t, the way she was looking at him just pulled him back down. He had no control over this, she had opened a flood gate and he wanted her so badly he had no say anymore. His head was blanking his thoughts out and just lost to the sensations.
He dropped back to that inviting mouth and gave himself all in, no regrets, no holding back just kissing her more passionately and harder. Both of them breathing hard and fast, Emma responded with fever, arms wriggling to be free and go to him, legs moving up around his waist and inching herself against his abdomen even though he was trying to keep distance down there. She was moving against his body suggestively in time to the kissing and making him groan wildly. He knew Emma was no virgin, she had mentioned boyfriends in her teen years but she clearly had never been a casual sex kind of person which made this all the more intoxicating for him.Her movements were not skilled and honed, there was an innocence and almost awkwardness, holding onto him as though asking him to guide her. He had been with enough women in his lifetime to know this was almost as close to her being a virgin as he could get and he fell in love with her all the harder.
She wouldn’t go all in for just a drunken night surely?
He pulled away and kissed her again, this time sucking her bottom lip seductively and testing how far she may want to go. She writhed under him, reaching up to try and kiss him again, her body fully moulded to his and despite his obvious arousal she wasn’t backing down but pressing herself to him. Jakes head was cloudy with lust and he could no longer think straight, nothing except getting her body naked and him inside of her.
She was clinging to him and trying to pull him further into her, moaning at his touch, moaning as his tongue moved back into her mouth slowly and she began scrambling her hands free to haul him down by the shoulders greedily. There was no denying she wanted this as much as him and he was beyond stopping it, his hands moving to skim the side of her breast and revelling in how fucking sexy her body was to him. Holding his weight up so he could shift against her harder. Bringing his groin to her pelvis and parting her legs so there was no denying where he was pushing this, she just opened up and fully let them connect. Her body heat scorching hot in the apex of her thighs and only fuelling his desire.
He groaned against her mouth, her body too perfect for words and hand moving down to trace her thigh and head towards her heat ready to take this a step further without hesitation.
There was a mass bang in the hall behind them, he had left the door wide open and the sudden noise made him jerk around impulsively, shielding her instinctively to protect her from whatever it was. There was lots of hysterical screaming as the door filled with a dark looming figure of a man and Jake pulled away reluctantly fully from her to turn and look. Confusion clearing his foggy brain.
‘What the f…?’ Jake was shocked yet angry that he had finally gotten to this point with the girl of his dreams and some asshole was wading in to ruin it. He was still on top of her, braced on his arms but their bodies still entangled achingly.
‘Jake?…. Jake?’ The voice at the door sounded hysterical. He recognised Richards voice instantly.
‘What’s it?’ He snapped, raging that this was his fucking life right about now.
‘It’s Daniel he fell off the boat… We can’t find him.’